Stupid Criminals

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Kyle Voss, 24, was charged with four burglaries in Great Falls, Mont., in April after coming upon a private residence containing buckets of coins. According to police, Voss first took the quarters and half-dollars ($3,000), then days later he returned for $700 in dimes and nickels. By the third break-in, the resident had installed surveillance video, and Voss was caught as he came back for a bucket of pennies. [Associated Press via Fox News, 4-17-2012]

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In March, Jose Romero-Valenzuela, 34, in a hurry to get to the courthouse in Oregon City, Ore., for a hearing on drug charges, managed to pick up three speeding tickets on Interstate 84, one right after the other within the space of an hour. A sheriff's deputy and two different state troopers charged him with speeds in excess of 92 mph. (Another trooper, specifically monitoring Romero-Valenzuela after the third stop, reported that, finally, he obeyed the speed limit.) [The Oregonian, 3-8-2012]

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William Todd arrived in Nashville, Tenn., on April 9 via Greyhound bus and faced a nine-hour layover. According to police, Todd committed at least 11 felonies during that time, one after another, with more charges still possible. Among Todd's alleged diversions: shooting up a restaurant, setting it on fire, robbing four people at a bar, carjacking, breaking into a law office and defecating on a desk, trolling hotel rooms seeking theft opportunities, and stealing a taxicab and robbing the driver. Said a police sergeant, "I've never seen anything like this before." He was finally captured at Opryland, where he had hidden by submerging himself in water up to his nose. [WSMV-TV (Nashville), 4-9-2012]

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Eric King, 21, was leaving a store in Eagan, Minn., in February when a police officer in the parking lot noticed his pronounced waddle. King was arrested when the officer found a shoplifted 19-inch television set down his pants. [KSTP- TV (St. Paul), 2-24-2012]

In March, a 34-year-old Lithuanian-born man led police in Wiltshire, England, in a nighttime foot chase after he had aroused their suspicion. Thermal imaging equipment was used from a helicopter to spot the man in the darkness. He was arrested "hiding" face-down in a manure pit. (Though he originally fled, there was little evidence against him, and he was released.)[BBC News, 3-30-2012]

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James Cruz, 58, was arrested in May in West Palm Beach, Fla., after allegedly pulling out a gun at a McDonald's drive-thru lane in order to squeeze his car in ahead of another. The other driver backed off, but of course got a full view of Cruz's license plate. [WTVJ-TV (Miami), 5-25- 2012]

Two weeks earlier, in Wilmer, Texas, Keithan Manuel, 18, was arrested after he allegedly walked into the Wilmer police station with a white towel covering his hands, and told the dispatcher, "(G)ive me all your money." [KRLD-TV (Dallas), 5-9-2012]

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Ms. Stormy Moody was arrested and charged with aggravated burglary in Henderson County, Tenn., in May after her next-door neighbor returned from a trip and discovered that quite a few items (from the petty to the more expensive) were missing from the home. For some reason, Moody felt secure enough to be wearing some of the clothing as she chatted sympathetically with the victim about the missing items. [WBBJ-TV (Jackson, Tenn.), 5-23-2012]

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Andrea Amanatides suffered a boo-boo in May while being booked to begin a six-month jail sentence in Albany, N.Y., for a probation violation. As she was being placed in a holding cell, a cache of drugs fell onto the floor. Deputies soon figured out that a condom Amanatides had placed into a bodily orifice had burst. The final inventory: 26 Oxycontins, 10 Ambiens, 50 Valiums, 37 Adderalls, plus 133 more prescription pills and four baggies containing heroin. The sequence was captured on surveillance video. [Times Union (Albany), 5-31-2012]

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A Colorado Springs Police Department (CSPD) patrol supervisor was northbound on Weber St, at Boulder St, entering the intersection on a green light. A small Saturn sedan was approaching the same intersection eastbound. The Saturn apparently ran the red light and the two cars struck sending the patrol vehicle to the NE corner of the intersection as it rotated on its vertical axis nearly 180 degrees. The Saturn continued to the NW several feet. The front right passenger of the Saturn had to be extricated from the vehicle by CSFD and was being treated at a local hospital. The driver of the Saturn and the patrol sergeant suffered minor injuries. The driver of the Saturn, an 18 year-old woman, was arrested for traffic related charges, including DUI.

But dad, the cop just came out of nowhere!!


On July 5th at 1:23AM, officers from the Sand Creek Division were dispatched to the intersection of Academy Blvd and Hancock Expressway in regards to a robbery that resulted in a traffic accident.

The investigation revealed that the victim was waiting at a red light at the intersection when a Trailblazer pulled up next to him and the passenger exited. The passenger held a pistol to the victim's head and demanded his car. The victim complied and the suspect drove off with his vehicle, which is described as a black Honda Civic with white lettering that says "SoCal" and a red spoiler. The Civic made it through the intersection and the Trailblazer began to follow. As the Trailblazer was driving through the intersection, it ran the red light and a Toyota truck that was southbound struck the Trailblazer in the driver's side.

The Trailblazer was found a short distance away, and the driver had left.

The occupants of the Toyota suffered minor injuries.

http://www.springsgov.com/units/poli...iceblotter.asp

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Germany's Spiegel Online reported in April that police in Hamburg had charged a 33-year-old man with 96 burglaries based in part on the "ear prints" he left at each scene when he leaned against a front door to detect whether anyone was home. DNA and fingerprints were also collected, said a police source, but "earprints are of similar value as fingerprints in terms of evidence." [Spiegel Online, 4-30-2012]
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On June 8, sheriff's deputies near Tampa, Fla., charged Robert Suggs, 36, and David Hall, 28, with taking a front-end loader and a dump truck from a construction site and using them to steal an ATM from a Bank of America drive-thru. The theft took place at 5 a.m., and deputies arrested the pair that afternoon when they were found near the bank, still trying to get the ATM open.

On the same day, in Albuquerque, Thomas Molina, 38, was arrested in the act of fleeing a burglary at Central New Mexico Community College. As he tried to climb out a window, his getaway was hampered by having gotten his foot caught in the blinds. [WTSP.com (St. Petersburg), 7-9-2012; KQRE-TV (Albuquerque), 7-10-2012]

http://www.newsoftheweird.com/archive/nw120729.html

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The thief who snatched the brand- new bike from Wheelworks in Belmont, Mass., in August got away, but police saw surveillance photos of him when he returned to the store two hours later and asked to see some locks (presumably so he could secure the bike he had just stolen). Incredulous employees gave chase, but the thief ran faster. [WBZ-TV (Boston), 8-2-2012]

Kristen DeCosta, 30, was charged with 17 recent burglaries around Somerset, Mass., in August. According to Police Chief Joseph Ferreira, DeCosta is perhaps the only perp ever not to understand that, since she was wearing a GPS ankle monitor (from an earlier arrest), all 17 break-ins were tracked. [WJAR-TV (Providence), 8-14-2012]

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Todd Kettler, 37, was arrested in October in Kalamazoo Township, Mich., and charged with robbing a Southfield, Mich., bank five days earlier. The manager of a strip club in the Township had noticed that Kettler was handing women money saturated with red dye, and called the police. [WDIV-TV (Detroit), 10-9-2012]

Two men, ages 45 and 42, were arrested in Toronto in September after they walked into a neighborhood money-transfer store with $520,250 in a duffel bag and attempted to wire that amount to an address in Los Angeles. Police charged them in connection with an ongoing money-laundering investigation. [Canadian Broadcasting Corp. News, 9-24-2012]

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Samuel Cutrufelli, 31, filed a lawsuit in October in Sacramento County, Calif., claiming that Jay Leone, 90, "negligently" shot him. Cutrufelli had burglarized Leone's home in Greenbrae, unaware that Leone was home. When Leone reached for one of his stashed handguns, Cutrufelli shot him in the jaw and then pulled the trigger point-blank at Leone's head, but was out of bullets. Leone then shot Cutrufelli several times, which Cutrufelli apparently felt was entirely unnecessary. [Marin Independent Journal, 10-23-2012]

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Tyller Myers, 19, was killed in a collision near Norwalk, Ohio, in September when he ran a stop sign and was rammed by a tractor-trailer. Afterward, police found three stolen stop signs in Myers' truck. [Athens Banner-Herald, 9-14-2012]

A 21-year-old man was killed crossing a highway at 5 a.m. in Athens, Ga., in September. Police said he had just dined-and-dashed out of a Waffle House restaurant and into the path of a pickup truck. [Yahoo News, 9-25-2012]

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[Enyalois]

figured this would have made the cut

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Sand Creek Officer Donya Davis was dispatched to the 7-11 store at 1760 Shasta Drive for a report of a cold shoplift of a $2.19 item, Suspect, Mason Simmons, 21 years of age left the 7-11 store prior to Officer Davis’ arrival. The suspect returned while Officer Davis was still at the 7-11 store. When contacted by Officer Davis, the suspect became very evasive about his identity. The suspect also had an unknown/unidentified friend with him causing Officer Davis concern. While Officer Davis was attempting to pat the suspect down for her safety, the suspect began to fight with Officer Davis. With the assistance of two citizens; Officer Davis was able to subdue the suspect. Officer Donya Davis suffered minor injuries as did one of the citizens.

The suspect was found to have 4 outstanding Felony warrants and 1 outstanding Misdemeanor warrant to add to new charges of Resisting Arrest, Second Degree Assault on a Police Officer, Third Degree Assault, Theft, and Criminal Mischief.

http://www.springsgov.com/units/poli...iceblotter.asp

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Peter Welsh, 32, and Dwayne Doolan, 31, weren't the first burglars to try breaking into a building by smashing through the adjoining basement wall, but they might be the clumsiest. Their target, on New Year's Eve, was Wrights Jewellers in Beaudesert, Australia, but trying to smash the front window failed, as did smashing the rear doors, which were actually those of another store. They finally settled on the basement option, but absentmindedly broke through the opposite-side wall and wound up in a KFC restaurant. (Undaunted, according to police, they robbed the KFC of about $2,600.) [Gold Coast Bulletin (Molendinar, Australia), 1-4-2013]

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Police track car burglary suspects by following their footprints in snow

by Colorado Springs Police Department on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 3:54pm ·

On 02/11/2013 at 1:29 AM, officers from the Stetson Hills Division were dispatched to the 9000 block of Aragon Drive in response to individuals attempting to steal item from inside of vehicles. The caller reported confronting two males, one of whom the caller saw inside of his own vehicle. When confronted by the caller, the two males fled the area on foot.

Due to recent snowfall, officers were able to follow fresh footprints to a residence located in the 4800 block of Herndon Circle. The two males were contacted at the residence.

Both confessed to unlawfully entering vehicles in an attempt to locate and steal valuables. Both were charged with First Degree Criminal Trespass and taken to jail.

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Jorge Sanchez, 35, was arrested in Burbank, Calif., in February after walking into a Costco store, brazenly stuffing 24 quart cans of motor oil under his clothing (some affixed with bungee cords), and heading for the exit. A security guard noticed him, but Sanchez fled and actually outran the guard (though some of his cargo came loose). Still carrying 15 cans, he made it eight blocks before police overtook him. Sanchez said he services cars part-time and that motor oil prices were just too high. [KCBS-TV (Los Angeles), 2-1-2013]

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In San Diego, Calif., in February, two people broke into a Hooters after closing and stole a jukebox, apparently, said police, mistaking it for an ATM inside the darkened restaurant. [KGTV (San Diego), 2-22-2013]

Jose Perales Jr., 24, was charged with breaking into Dr. John's Lingerie Boutique in Davenport, Iowa, in February. Surveillance video revealed he was wearing men's clothing when he entered, but left in a dress and blond wig. In fact, while changing clothes, his bare back was visible, revealing "Perales" tattooed on his shoulder. [Quad City Times (Davenport), 2-23-2013]

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