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Thread: Shut up Tim McCarver

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    Default Shut up Tim McCarver

    Tim McCarver has said some really dumb things! Here are some of our favorites…2006 gems submitted by our readers…
    “This is the first time in major league history, except for the strike season, included, where there was no 20-game winner” – McCarver apparently thinking that the shortened season would yield more wins than normal. -Evan Rakowski

    (Game 1 2006 ALDS)During Game 5 of the 2006 NLCS, on a pitch to Jose Reyes, McCarver says, “That pitch wasn’t down and in, that pitch was down and up.” Too bad you can’t go up and down at the same time. -Mario, NY

    “If Oliver Perez throws in the succeeding innings like he did in the first, you might not need the bullpen early.” – Many readers

    “Well, David Eckstein, like most of us, has 20 digits. Ten fingers. Ten toes.” – Many readers

    “Something to keep in mind — it’s raining lightly. The infield could be very wet on ground balls.” – Many readers

    “On most teams the set up man has become more valuable, on others not so valuable.” – Paul G.

    “So by guessing right you might have guessed wrong.” – NLCS Game 6, 10/18/06, Nicole B., Queens, NY

    2004 ALCS, Game 5? Red Sox vs. Yankees. David Ortiz hit a home run into right field. Tim: “Mt.Everest erupts again!”…..too bad Mt. Everest isn’t a volcano! – Many readers

    August 19, 2006 Yankees @ Red Sox. “Pitching is such a vital part of the game, as far as winning is concerned” – Sarah Page

    2005 gems submitted by our readers…

    “In the time it’s taken to play this game you could have flown from Baltimore to Iceland.” (2005 WS Game 4, 10/26), Huh?

    “Roy Oswalt is a drop and drive pitcher. What is a drop and drive pitcher? He is a guy who drops and drives. Very simple.” – From many readers. (2005 WS Game 4, 10/26) Very insightful Tim!

    A lot of readers submitted this one, and I probably would have posted it myself had no one written in, but instead I’ll credit Bill Simmons with this one from his 10/24 blog entry, lead item: “The McCarver/Buck exchange right before Podsednik’s walkoff homer Sunday night, which definitely goes down in the pantheon of Eerie Broadcaster Moments. Buck said something like “Do you think Lidge still has the taste of that Pujols homer in his mouth?” — quickly followed by McCarver saying, “I don’t think that taste is there.” Within like 0.000000000045 seconds, Podsednik was slamming the game-winner. I don’t think everyone else combined in the history of sports broadcasting has jinxed as many pitchers as Buck and McCarver over the last few years. It’s unreal.

    The 1965 version of Sandy Koufax couldn’t pitch a no-hitter against the team from “A League of Their Own” with Buck and McCarver announcing.”1993 World Series, Phillies vs. Blue Jays: “Watch Darren Daulton use his mitt like a glove.” -Dave YeagerJoe Buck: “I am stunned the Angels don’t have anyone warming up in their bullpen.” McCarver: I am your co-stunner. Cathleen Collins – Long Island, NY

    “There is a world of difference between a count of one ball and two strikes is a lot different situation than hitting with two strikes and one ball.” – from too many to count. (Read it a few times, you’ll get it.)

    From 2002 ALCS: Yankees vs. Angels following a Jason Giambi walk: “Giambi walks too much. He’s always clogging up the bases with all that walking.” – Jeremy Lechan, Natick,

    MASox vs. Orioles in the FOX game before the All-Star Break. (Manny Ramirez at the plate) Tim: “And ‘Ta-hay-da’ hits a ground ball to Brian Roberts who throws him out.” -David in Western Mass.

    An all-time Tim McCarver classic was during the Yankees-Mets World Series. Benny Agbayani was up and the game was approaching midnight. Tim starts trying to draw a parallel between a new day beginning and the sun setting in Hawaii b/c B.A. is from Hawaii. “As a new day begins in New York, the sun sets in Hawaii.” A confused Joe Buck, just ignores him. -Tim Driscoll, New York, NY

    During the 2005 All-Star game: “With Guererro, it’s not as much a strike ZONE as it is a strike AREA.” -Timothy RazelIt didn’t take him long to get going during the All-star game. He said this when Abreu was the very first batter: “Bobby Abreau is so good because he has the lightest grip with his left hand in the league. He grips the bat like a pianist.”

    This was extra funny because many people mis-heard him and thought he said penis instead of pianist. -Pat Morse

    Paraphrasing from the ALCS re: Curt Schilling’s sock:”The blood on his sock looks exactly like Oklahoma!” – Kat Penwell, Edgewood,

    MDYes, for the all star game we have gems such as, “”He has 45 consecutive starts for the White Sox” And how, Tim, could you have non-consecutive starts? Huh? –In the TOP of the first. He couldn’t keep his idiocy in for twelve seconds! God help us. -Ari Ofsevit

    My favorite one ever was when Tim McCarver said, in the 2003 World Series, “Beckett’s retired 19 batters through Six and a third innings, he’s having a phenomonal night…” Of course, Beckett hadn’t retired 19 straight, nor was “straight” ever said. The very definition of Six and a third innings is that 19 batters have been retired… every pitcher who has ever pitched Six and a third has retired 19 batters, regardless of if they were throwing a perfect game or were losing 20-0. Phenomonal indeed! - R. Bennett Moreland, Detroit Michigan

    “…Steve Finley who signed a 2 year deal with the California Angels” -Jeff K.

    These are from columnist Norman Chad, whose Couch Slouch pieces have appeared in the many major newspapers. I enjoyed viewing your site, and knew that Chad was a McCarver-hater who had a knack for sharing the pain in a humorous way with his readership, so I began surfing for some gems. Here they are: McCarver on Red Sox pitcher Derek Lowe: “Of the heavy pitches that a pitcher throws, any ball that goes down is much heavier than any ball that stays on the same plane. A two-seam fastball is heavier than a four-seam fastball and that’s why often they hit guys like Lowe on the ground – you hit the top half of the ball.”

    McCarver on Yankees pitcher Mariano Rivera: “He’s so impressive with that excellent gait of his, the way he walks. There’s nobody that walks any easier, or comes in from the bullpen with an easier gait than Rivera. And I think that’s part of the reason for his success because the ball just explodes out of his hand – hitters just can’t believe he can do that.”

    It was also Norman Chad who once said: “What’s the difference between Tim McCarver and appendicitis? Appendicitis is covered by most health plans.” And also: “If Ken Burns ever does a documentary on the heel of the glove, I assume Tim McCarver will narrate.”

    And this: “The only thing scarier than Tim McCarver in postseason form is Kevin Costner in Waterworld.” -Phil Sarazin

    Refering to Jose Contreras’ Forkball, nicknamed Senior Tumbolina he said, “Sounds like something you’d order at a Cuban restaurant!” -Submitted by many readers

    Refering to Shawn Chacon: “He wears his hat like a left hander!” – from many readers.

    Earlier this year in a Yanks vs Angels game(paraphrased): “A-Rod at the plate, K-Rod on the mound. I guess you can call this match-up Rod-Rod…” from many readers.

    Cards pitcher throws a slider to Manny Ramirez… Tim McCarver: “Hey! He just threw a stider! I’ve invented a new pitch! A stider! hee hee hee” – Bubba Bowen

    McCarver busted out this bit of brilliance during the Red Sox/Orioles game on Saturday: “The reason we call that pitch up and in is because the arms are attached to the shoulder.” Ummm what? -Ryan Lambert

    Kyle Rosko sent this in:Here are 2 McCarver Gems from the 6/18/2005 FOX game between the Cubs and Yankees… Gary Sheffield hits a 90 MPH high fastball (paraphrased): “Gary Sheffield just hammered the high fastball. Not many major leaguers can do that.”

    Tim and Buck are drooling over Jeter (also paraphrased): “At the risk of sounding gaga over Jeter, he’s hip too. He’s hip. If I may use that young phrase, he’s one of the hippest players in the big leagues.”

    6/18 – “his past week during the yankees cardinals game McCarver said “a low strike is a high strike” while Randy Johnson was batting” -Stephanie DiMuro- Rochester,

    NYTim: “One of the reasons the Angels have struggled is because their offense has been bad, really bad”
    Joe: “You mean that in a good way, right?”
    Tim: “Ummm, well, no.”
    (Angels offensive rankings stats pop up: 10th, 9th, 2nd)
    -David Rice
    Western Mass.

    During a meeting at the mound between the pitcher and catcher, “You see Colon talking into his glove because David Ortiz, from the Dominican Republic, can obviously read lips in Spanish.” -Andrew R., Newmarket NH

    From the May 21st, 2005 Subway Series matchup at Shea Stadium after Derek Jeter got hit by a pitch in the left elbow, “They need a derrick to get Jeter out.” -Zoe

    Right before Koo’s double off Randy Johnson (May 21, 2005) – From many readers… Tim McC, “I’m going to go out on a limb, this is thus far in the young season, this is the biggest give-up at bat” Joe Buck, ” Ohhhh, he rips one into right center field, take your words back. Up against the wall”

    “Half of the Yankees’ regulars this year have not been regulars.” -Joe Parziale, Melville, NY

    2004 Gems…McCarver said this one during Game 1 of the ALDS (Yankees-Twins) this year. The Yanks were losing 2-0 and Torre brought in Rivera to pitch, so Buck commented that Rivera usually doesn’t come in when the Yankees are losing. McCarver then clued us all in on what Rivera’s goal was: “In a sense, he’s trying to keep it 2-0.” There was a long pause, then McCarver said “What am I talking about?” Even McCarver notices he makes no sense! Submitted by N. Taylor, Pasadena, CA

    “One thing about ground balls. They don’t go out of the ball park.” – Submitted by many readers.

    Game 6, 2004 ALCS. During a pretty good at bat by Orlando Cabrera: “Yankee pitchers have had great success this year against Cabrera when they get him out.” Submitted by J. Haas, Minnesota

    From 2004 WS game 2: “Two ground ball outs a pitchers night does not make.” Submitted by – Michael, New Orleans

    This was during the bottom of the 9th inning of the 2001 World Series, just before the Diamondbacks started their comeback against Mariano Rivera: “You know, hitters have a tough time hitting knuckleballs, catchers have a tough time catching knuckleballs, and hitters have a tough time hitting Mariano Rivera.” Does Rivera throw a knuckleball? No. Did anyone on the Arizona or New York staffs throw a knuckleball at that time? No. Were Phil Neikro, Charlie Hough, or Tim Wakefield within 300 miles of Bank One Ballpark at that time? I seriously doubt it. After that comment, Joe Buck carried on with the play-by-play as if it were never said. I’m sure he had no idea where McCarver was going with that one. Submitted by – Nick, Dartmouth, MA

    Slighted paraphrased: “The St. Louis lineup reminds me of Jack Lalane – there isn’t a soft spot in it.” Said early on in the Houston/St. Louis series. – Submitted by Pete Karahalios (San Diego, CA)

    It’s better to have a fast runner on base than a slow one.” -Submitted by: K. Ogborne, Rochester, NY

    “Brandon Arroyo and Pedro Martinez will start Game 2.” – Submitted by B. Stein, New York

    “If the double play is a pitcher’s best friend, what is a fielder’s choice? An acquaintance” – Submitted by M. Deters, New York

    Joe Buck: “Tim, one of the things I learned as a little boy watching you broadcast the World series, is that you can’t see the wind. you just see the effect of the wind….” *slight pause* McCarver: “I don’t remember saying that, but I know I said it” – Submitted by Walter S.

    During the ALCS, after a ball was hit off the Green Monster (by Millar I believe), McCarver said “if that ball had more elevation, it would have been a home run” – Submitted by Taurus Moon

    “National league pitchers pitch Edmonds up and in. That is his strength and his weakness.” – Submitted by many readers.

    “Pedro Martinez as a pitcher is as wily as a wolverine.” – Submitted by many readers.

    “I think Tim Wakefield would even say tonight that Tim Wakefield got to Tim Wakefield tonight.” Submitted by Dennis Tupper, Beverly, MA

    Joe Buck; “The last time a team came back from a 3-0 deficit it was the 1975 New York Islanders and Ed Whestfall scored the game winner against the Boston Bruins.” Two seconds later, Tim McCarver, “and Ed Westfall who played for the Islanders once played for the Boston Bruins” -Submitted by Nicolas C.

    I believe it was game 2 this year, against the Yankees, Pedro pitching. Joe buck, something to the effect of: and after game 7 last year, we know Pedro won’t be pitching much past 100 pitches.” McCarver: “well, when Pedro becomes tired, the Red Sox coaches have 2 options, leave Pedro in, or take him out and go to the bullpen.” Submiteed by Peter Q. New England

    [Paraphrased]If a hurricane does the damage it’s riptide the sneaks up on you. Walks are the riptide, home runs are the hurricane. -Submitted by Nancy G. Waltham

    (paraphrasing) “If football is a game of inches then baseball is a game of inch” Submitted by T. Mcaughlin, Cornell U.


    http://www.shutuptimmccarver.com/tim-mccarver-gems/
    Last edited by fullxtension; 11-03-2010 at 02:18 PM.

    Matthew 12:34b From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

    You're not the devil. You're practice.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Shut up Tim McCarver

    Fixed.

    Matthew 12:34b From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

    You're not the devil. You're practice.

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